2. Say ‘Thank You’ and Smile…

When someone pays you a compliment.

Most of us are lousy at taking compliments.

We often  respond by down sizing our achievements;

‘Oh really it was nothing’

or

‘I was just doing my job’.

This down sizing achieves nothing worthwhile.

First of all it negates the judgement and the goodwill of the person  who offered you the compliments making it less likely they will compliment you in the future.

Secondly it is a kind of powerful ‘self talk’ that is bad for own self image.  We really begin to believe that our efforts were ‘nothing’ or it was JUST ‘doing my job’.

So next time someone pays you a compliment just smile and say ‘Thank You’.

NB: Perhaps you should get in the habit of giving more compliments too – but you may find the process discouraging as many of those you pay compliments too will react by downsizing.  To avoid this you can tag a question onto your compliment that will prevent them from downsizing.  So instead of saying;

‘I love the hair cut.’

try;

‘I love the hair cut.  Where did you get it done?’.

This trivial addition prevents downsizing and helps to get through the embarrassing seconds of silence that might otherwise follow.

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